mr. zilla goes to town

Friday, October 17, 2003

Understanding Ahnold

Right after the event someone asked me to say something wise about the election of a roid munching pro-orgy Republican in-law of the Kennedys.

Keeping with the spirit of this blog I've been distracted for the last few weeks but in the end it boils down to this:

W can dog whistle to the right in the middle;
Ahnold is dog food to the center on the left.

Coast, that is. I have no doubt after the whole WMD debacle that the right, despite seeing the same shadowy moving pictures on the wall, are are attuned to the subliminal spin of their leaders. It's like we're in Ahnold's Cave - the one next to Plato's - except the lines of communication with the "reality" of power have gotta be pheromonal.

Let's review what we know:

* Ahnold has a taste for group sex and groping women
* He's pledged to fix California's $8billion budget deficit
* He has already mooted seeking support from the federal government:
"I look forward to asking him [Bush] for a lot, a lot of favors," Schwarzenegger said.

In an attempt to put together the pieces of the puzzle I spent a toasted Friday evening down around DC's hotbed of lobbying and intrigue, K street, the twisted bowel of the town that constipates congress. The political compass was covered in moss so I would have to rely on good old fashioned triangulation from whatever landmarks came into view.

I discovered this magic eye picture somewhere between the shrieking awfallity of the Hard Rock Cafe (as an analogue for Planet Hollywood) and yawping drunken karaoke in a watering hole called Recessions. It makes perfect sense - explaining the Gubernator's Washington lobbying agenda, how he's going to balance the Californian budget, and how the hell he got so many left coasters to vote for him in the first place. It's plain to see - W can dog whistle to the religious right, sweaty and swollen over the ever straining bible belt, but Ahnold? He is just choice grade beefcake dog-food to those immoral Californians.

And don't they know it!


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