mr. zilla goes to town

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

captain kurt

Kurt Vonnegut doesn't know how to pull his punches. Never has. Which is great for us, but for poor Kurt I think it means he's got to bite someone's ear off before he feels like he's properly got the juices flowing:

Vonnegut takes an easy chair across from Prof. Manuel Luis Martinez, a poet and teacher of writing. He grabs Martinez and semi-whispers into his ear (and the mike) “What can I say here?”

Martinez urges candor.

“Well,” says Vonnegut, “I just want to say that George W. Bush is the syphilis president.”

Ding ding!

“The only difference between Bush and Hitler,” Vonnegut adds, “is that Hitler was elected.”

And, uh, doo-de-doo-doo:

“If you want really want to hurt your parents and don’t want to be gay, go into the arts,” he says.

Then he breaks into song, doing a passable, tender rendition of “Stardust Memories.”

“To hell with the advances in computers,” he says after he finishes singing. “YOU are supposed to advance and become, not the computers. Find out what’s inside you. And don’t kill anybody."

[...] “We are here on Earth to fart around,” he explains, and then embarks on a soliloquy about the joys of going to the store to buy an envelope.

[...] The greatest peace, Vonnegut wraps up, “comes from the knowledge that I have enough. Joe Heller told me that."

Well, except envelopes, obviously. Still, you know what they say, read the whole thing.


  • Hello there, apologies for this being off topic, but I can't find your email! Thanks for the comment on my blog, but are you sure they quoted my blog in the Guardian? If so, how on earth can I get me a copy?!

    Once ahain, thanks for the head up (if it's true - if not, thanks for confusing me with this dastardly and confusing hoax).

    By Blogger Jellyfish, at 12:41 am  

  • And now I'm apologising for using the word 'ahain' (again, clearly) and doubling up on 'confusing.' I have just staggered out of bed and reports that I am hungover can neither be confirmed nor denied.

    By Blogger Jellyfish, at 12:43 am  

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