mr. zilla goes to town

Monday, April 17, 2006

praise be. so long as 'be' is for bunny

Well I hope you've enjoyed Easter, wherever you're reading around the world. Here in England life hasn't been so rosy lately. There's the bird flu on our borders, the ongoing and ever present threat of terror attacks that make our pants damp even as we play frisbee in the occasional April sunshine, and now this. With the Anglican Communion in dissarray at the country's spiritual borders, the pagan god of Easter - whose body is ritually consumed by the faithful on Sunday morn - has appeared to his followers:
A "monster" rabbit has apparently been rampaging through vegetable patches in a small village in northern England, ripping up leeks, munching turnips and infuriating local gardeners.

In an uncanny resemblance to the plot of the hit animated film "Wallace & Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit," angry horticulturists in Felton, near Newcastle, have now mounted an armed guard to protect their prized cabbages and parsnips.

"They call it the monster. It's very big -- it's nearly the size of a dog," said Joan Smith, whose son Jeff owns one of the plots under attack.

"It's eating everything, all the vegetables," she told Reuters. "They are trying to shoot it. They go along hoping to catch it but I think it's too crafty."

Seriously what right-minded child wouldn't believe in a god like this? Believe in me and not only shall ye partake of my delicious body of chocolate, but I'll see to it that you don't have to eat your vegies either.

4 Comments:

  • I saw a dead duck in the canal yesterday. I almost called the "bird-flu hotline", but I was so overcome with terror that I have locked myself in a small panic room for the forseeable future.

    I'll probably emerge for the Soil & Pimp concert next week though, seeing as I have already bought my tickets. Are you going?

    By Blogger The Capgras Delusion, at 11:13 am  

  • haven't bought them yet. are you going the sunday or monday?

    By Blogger mister z, at 2:23 pm  

  • The sunday.

    By Blogger The Capgras Delusion, at 3:11 pm  

  • capital. I'll make arrangements.

    By Blogger mister z, at 8:38 pm  

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